Lib-eh-err-al?

Recently I had a conversation with a friend about gay rights and abortion. He was of the opinion that the majority population had so many pressing issues (e.g Medical insurance) that its hard to look up from those to notice what essentially affects a smaller section of the population. I know he is reading this and for the record I have the greatest respect for his opinions in general and I understand that he truly felt for the minority as he spoke this. But this got me thinking about 'justice' vs. 'happiness' - if I were an administrator would I fairly distribute the resources of the society or concentrate on increasing quality of life for the greatest number of people? As a woman I know I would rather be given an equal right over what meager opportunities might be available rather than spend my life fighting for both a fair share as well as a better share, which everyone, be it man or woman has to work for anyway. This political-philosophical debate in my mind would have ended had I not read something in a book called 'Power of focus' - a professional management book by Canfield, Hansen and Hewitt. It said that lot of times the people who bear resentments and anger are the same people that life has treated unfairly. Nothing novel about that. But they went on to advise that in order to gain greater satisfaction out of one's job and life, one must abandon the "fairness doctrine" and take up the "happiness philopsophy". It seemed an excellent principle akin to the very famous "karmanye vaadikaarasye maaphaleshu kadaachana". (Rough translation: You have the right over action but never over the fruits. Source: Bhagavad Gita, a sacred Indian text). But isn't it a similar assumption of tolerance that has led to the oppression of minority and women in many places? Had more people thought about what is fair and not just about what makes them happy wouldn't there be much less heartache today in the world?

In life how do we differentiate "settling for less" from a tolerant compromise for the sake of happiness?